


But it burns.

by Snovalla



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon verse, Comforting, Family Member Death, Gender Neutral terms for Pidge, Grieving, Hurt, Is this happy? Probably not, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Other, Trauma, hunk is the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 14:16:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13572315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snovalla/pseuds/Snovalla
Summary: Pidge is in grieving and Hunk offers his shoulder to cry on.





	But it burns.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing hidge and it's for the lovely @rexoubi on twitter! thank you so much for commissioning me!
> 
> feel free to check out my writing twitter @rhi_txt or my main twitter @shirogaynes!
> 
> please enjoy The Hell

_ “We’re under attack!” _

Sirens wailed across the planet of Olkarion and blared the dreaded message that sent a chill down the spines of refugees and fighters alike. As coloured beams ripped through the sky, the order of every fighter pilot to gear up and take the fight to the Galra were given under the instruction of Princess Allura herself. 

“Paladins of Voltron, enter your lions immediately!” Her voice boomed across the inner castle’s PA system, accompanied by the flashing of emergency lights and wail of the attack sirens. 

When the warning had sounded, Pidge had found themselves in the middle of coding an important device that would allow for easier and faster communication between Paladins and the rebellion fighters. This was mostly so the others could contact Matt and Keith without too much trouble. But for now, Pidge had to turn their attention elsewhere and ready themself for the battle ahead.

As Pidge fastened the last of their paladin armour inside the hangar bay, striding over to their lion in the process, they felt themself being pulled into a tight and sudden embrace.

“Stay safe, kiddo. I know you will but--” Matt paused for dramatic effect, feigning a sob, “..it’s my big brother senses kicking in.”

“Oh God.” Pidge groaned and tried to pry themself out of Matt’s arms. “We don’t have time for this! We’re under attack--”

“I know. I just..” Matt watched as Pidge wriggled free from his grasp, a concerned expression settling on his face. “The Galra don’t attack directly and I just.. I don’t know. Just stay safe, y’hear?”

Before Pidge turned to enter the Green Lion, they noticed Matt’s clear unease. There was a certain unease in the way he held himself. Pidge couldn’t tell if Matt was having the case of the nerves or if there was something he was genuinely frightened about. Either way, the look on Matt’s face didn’t sit right.

“Hey..” A lopsided smirk graced Pidge’s lips, “I’m not a baby anymore. I’m a paladin. Besides, if anyone’s gonna need saving, it’s gonna be you.” 

The concerned expression that Matt had wore went away as quickly as it came as he heard those words tumble from Pidge’s mouth. 

“Eh, we’ll see about that.” Matt retorted with a shit-eating grin.

“We’ll see.”

And with that being said, the two went their separate ways to fulfil their separate duties. As Pidge readied themself inside of the Green Lion’s cockpit, a familiar welcome face popped up on their screen. 

“Good luck out there, cutie.” The warmth of Hunk’s voice ebbed into the cockpit, “Just.. don’t die, it’d suck.. Like  _ a lot  _ because then I’d have to play games with Lance and y’know Lance is just so competitive and he gets really--”

With a blush coating their cheeks, Pidge launched their Lion forward and out of the hangar bay, “Stop worrying will’ya? You’re gonna start making  _ me  _ nervo--”

“Hey lovers!” Lance hollered, interrupting the couple’s brief touching moment. “Enough of the ooey gooey trash, focus.” 

Hunk disconnected from the screen with an obedient, curt nod whilst Pidge grounded their molars and clicked their tongue in annoyance. “That’s cheap coming from you.”

And before Lance could retort, Pidge disconnected themself from the conversation and pulled their attention into firefight that lit up the Olkarion skies. Just like fireworks on Earth, rays and beams of light snapped and crackled as they soar through the skies. Pidge utilised their lion’s shield to deflect incoming beams from Galra fighter ships, working alongside the rebellion’s cruisers. With the efforts of both the rebel fighters and the Voltron lions, the Galran attack was under the coalition's control.

As the remaining Galra fighters peeled out of the planet’s atmosphere, desperately trying to escape the beams of the rebel fighters, Pidge couldn’t help but feel that something was wrong. They could feel the energy within their lion that something wasn’t quite right, that the fight couldn’t have been that simple. Why would the Galra attack the paladins so openly? It didn’t make sense. 

Before Pidge could say anything, Matt’s voice crackled over the comms, “Hey is it just me, or was that too--” 

Matt disconnected abruptly, loud static crackling in the place of his voice.

“Matt..? Matt? Matt! Hey guys Matt just disc--”

But before Pidge could finish their sentence, the sky above their lion rained fire and metal. It was almost as if it were happening in slow motion. Pidge couldn’t tell how long they had sat there in their cockpit, staring at the blazing inferno with wide eyes full of shock. Pidge didn’t react until they felt their Lion being pulled away by their yellow companion, but even then, Hunk’s voice sounded like background fuzz compared to the loud throbbing of the one name that lingered in their mind.

“Matt?”

 

*******

 

Everything seemed to blur into one jumbled mess after the accident. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and for some odd reason despite the fact that Pidge was simply existing, they managed to do their paladin duties without much trouble.  _ The lives of others matter more than my own.  _ When Pidge found themself knee-deep in Paladin business, that allowed them to channel all their energies and thoughts into their duties, not on.. Matt. 

The way Pidge began to speak seriously and talk solely about business and  _ only  _ business was unlike them. The others didn’t know how to approach the green paladin, how could you comfort someone who’s grieving for the same person twice over? How does it feel to lose once and lose a second time? None of the Paladins knew. But only one tried to understand. 

“Hey, I made your favourite!” Hunk’s warm voice filled Pidge’s room as he balanced a dish in one hand, a cup of drink in the other, “It’s still hot so be careful!”

As Hunk tiptoed cautiously around Pidge’s messy room, he made his way over to their side. As he sat himself down next to the bed, he placed the food on the floor next to him.

“Hey..” He gently nudged the bundle of blankets Pidge was hiding under, “..it’s really tasty…” Hunk coaxed with a grin, nudging the blanket some more which earned him a few annoyed grunts. “.. I know you’re under there and I know that you don’t like cold Vutheish steak.”

A fat silence settled between the two as Hunk eagerly awaited for the other’s response. He sat patiently with an understanding expression resting on his face. He knew that Pidge was grieving and he knew they had every right to be upset, but he just sometimes wished they’d give a little more so Hunk could support them with a heart full of love.

As the pregnant silence popped with the shuffling and groans sounding from underneath the nest of blankets, Hunk let out a sigh of relief. As the little green paladin poked their head out of their n  est, Hunk could see just how poorly Pidge was doing. Their once bright hues that shone wit  h excitement were now puffy, red, and wet from the stream of tears that never seemed to end. Their face was pale and bleak from the lack of self-care and their tousled brown locks were no longer voluminous and bouncy, only matted and greasy, knotted in a bunch that seemed impossible to comb through.

“..I’m not hung--”

“You are.” Hunk interrupted. “You are hungry and you’re going to eat.” 

Pidge knew there was no way they were going to convince Hunk otherwise, not when he is so uptight like he is now. Pidge knew that he meant well and God, on a normal day Pidge would argue back about not needing help but this wasn’t a normal day, this was a shit day, a terrible day. The green paladin had no energy to fight back, not today. With a defeated sigh, Pidge outstretched their hand for the plate and when Hunk passed it over, the delicious waft of the steak had come into Pidge’s senses.

_ Growl. _

Pidge felt their stomach rumble painfully as it called out to the steak. 

“I..” Their voice was soft and wavering, “..guess I am.”

 

***

The nights were the worst. That’s when  _ the dreams _ happen. It always began the same way. It started off in the Green Lion. As Pidge tried their hardest to get their lion to budge, Green just wouldn’t, they refused. Pidge would then proceed to smack the control panels desperately looking for some way to activate their lion.  _ Nothing.  _ And then there he was. He stood beside her, eyes downcast at the floor.

“Why didn’t you save me?” He’d always taunt. “Why did you let me die?”

And that’s where the screaming would start. Pidge didn’t know who was louder, themself or Matt right next to their ear screaming bloody murder. Every time the screaming would start it felt like hours would pass, hours and hours of Matt screaming as if someone were slowly peeling his flesh away with a dull knife.

“Help me! God please it burns! God it burns! It burns!”

And every time those words left Matt’s lips, Pidge felt their body light up like a Christmas tree. 

“It burns! It burns!” Pidge screamed bloody murder into the emptiness of their room, clawing at their skin desperately to relieve the phantom burning pain. 

“Hey! Hey!” Hunk awoke at the screaming, yelling out for Pidge as he got up from his makeshift bed on the floor. “I’m here! Pidge!”

“It burns! Why?! Why does it burn?!” Pidge continued to scream in a shrill voice, tears burning their cheeks as they desperately struggled against the non-existent fire that was enveloping them. 

Without wasting another second, Hunk threw himself protectively over Pidge, wrapping his arms around their small frame in a tight embrace. Pidge struggled and kicked and screamed against Hunk, fists beating against his back, and legs kicking at his body. Pidge continued beating down on the yellow paladin until ‘the fire’ had stopped. Breathlessly, Pidge ceased movement altogether and went limp in Hunk’s arms. Hunk remained still, embrace remaining tight as Pidge began to quiver like a leaf, letting out a long, drawled out sob, “M-matt..” 

“I know, I know..” Hunk responded with a shaky, weak voice, “..W-e all miss him..” 

Hunk sat there with Pidge in his arms, rocking the green paladin back and forth soothingly as he tried his hardest to be strong for the two of them.  _ Every night. Every night it’s the same thing.  _ As Hunk buried his fingers in Pidge’s matted hair, he pressed a kiss lightly to their forehead.

“I’ve got you..” 

Pidge sniffled in response to Hunk’s soothing reassurance, allowing themself to be held and pampered by the other. 

“I..I don’t know what I’d do without you..” Pidge’s voice came softly and crackly.

“Don’t think about that.” Hunk shushed with another kiss to the other’s forehead.

“..What do I think about then?”

“Hmmm..” Hunk let out a thoughtful hum, nuzzling their face into Pidge’s wild mane affectionately, “..How we’re going to get at least  _ fifty  _ dogs when we go back to Earth. They’re all gonna have funky alien names, y’know? Like Shivallia, Xoclyn, Venertash..” 

Pidge shuffled in Hunk’s arms comfortably, their puffy red eyes peering up hopefully at Hunk, “Fifty? I thought we agreed to a hundred.”

A genuine smile graced itself on Hunk’s face as he felt Pidge slowly relax in his arms, their quivering slowing to a gradual stop. “My mistake, I did promise a hundred dogs.”

“You can’t back out of that now.” The tiniest of smiles etched itself on Pidge’s exhausted face, which sent Hunk’s heart into overdrive.

“Now that’s what I like to see!” Hunk beamed as he squeezed Pidge as tight as he could, earning a few muffled swears and groans of annoyance as Pidge wiggled restlessly in his tight embrace before eventually giving up. 

When Hunk finally pulled away from Pidge in an attempt to give them space, he was quickly pulled by the shoulders into a quick peck from the other.

“T-thank you.” Pidge stammered pulling away as quickly as they rushed in, “..You.. you deserve a  _ lot..  _ I.. I owe you a  _ lot— _ “

“You can pay me back with dogs when we’re safe on Earth, okay?” Hunk interrupted, a blush coating his cheeks as he gave the other a sincere smile.

“Well.. since that’s going to take a while..” Pidge hummed thoughtfully, a thoughtful expression settling on their face, “Would you like to cuddle me back to sleep? I mean—“

“Anything for you.”

“You’re great, Hunk.”

"Awh shucks, I try."

*******

 

Pidge stood up straight as they examined themself in the mirror. Despite the fact that  _ the day  _ had finally rolled around, Pidge stood confidently with their head held high.  _ It’s what Matt would’ve wanted. Yeah. He would’ve wanted me to get it together for him, one last time.  _ As Pidge mentally psyched themself up for the memorial ahead, a soft knock came from her door.

“It’s Hunk. I’m coming in—If you’re dressed and all y’know I don’t want to see you nak—“

Rolling their eyes with a half-groan half-laugh, Pidge responded, “Oh yeah I’m totally naked, just.. stark naked like the day I was born—“

“Serious?”

“No.”

Hunk let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into the room, his eyes wide as he gazed at Pidge, “I’m.. I..” He began, his expression softening as he began to tear up. “..I’m proud of you.. so.. proud of you..” 

“T-thanks.. I mean.. I had to freshen up for  _ him. _ ”

“A good shower and a good grooming.. y’know.. really makes a difference and I’m.. I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself.. really I—“

“Hunk.” Pidge turned to look at the bumbling, teary yellow paladin, “You don’t give yourself credit. This.” Pidge gestured to their cleaned up self, “..Is because you were there for me.. and I—“ Pidge couldn’t help but get misty-eyed reflecting on how Hunk never left their side, not once during the entire ordeal. Hunk had put up with so much and Pidge couldn’t even begin to explain how grateful they were. “..I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Pidge I—“

“I love you, Hunk.” The tears fell from the green paladin’s eyes as they moved over to the other, falling into their embrace. “A-and I-I need you j-just once more—I-I need you to do this one thing for me I can’t—I”

Pidge began choking on their words as the grief and panic began to bubble away once more, “I—I can’t do this alone—“

As the choked words forced themselves out of Pidge’s mouth, Hunk said nothing as he quickly wiped away the green paladin’s tears, a stern yet comforting expression settling on his face. “Let’s face this together.” And as those comforting words came from Hunk’s mouth, he made a point that he wasn’t going to leave by intertwining his fingers with the other. “I won’t let go if you won’t.“

As the green paladin squeezed the other’s hand tightly, hiccuping as they swatted away their tears desperately, they forced themself to stare at the other with a pseudo-confident expression, “I won’t.” Pidge managed to respond, trying to compose themself for the memorial ahead by frantically wiping at their face and with one final, sharp inhale, Pidge murmured quietly, 

“I-I’m ready to go.”


End file.
